Girls Are Pornography…?

I recently read a blog post about pornography that made me cringe. The particular blogger was actually using the post as an apology to previously referring to scantily clad females as pornography. While the apology seemed sincere enough with some repentance involved, the second to last line made me think otherwise: “So, girls, I’m sorry I called you porn.  And I didn’t just do it once, I did it over, and over, and over again”.

According to this blogger, “pornography is routinely violent and degrading towards women.  It is extreme and depicts the most deprave of situations.  It glorifies the exploitation of adolescent sexuality and does so legally. And, at it’s worst, it abuses little children to serve it’s purposes.  Sometimes, it rapes them.”

HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED PORN?! This seems like an uneducated, Sunday School definition of pornography. Of course there are extreme versions out there. But to characterize all pornography under this umbrella and then make a backhanded comment of how “immodestly” dressed women are part of this and that they bring out these behaviors in men. AND THEN say but I’m sorry because scantily clad females are not really full-out pornography. LIKE WHAT?!

My point is, we shouldn’t be judging girls on their looks, if they feel most comfortable wearing what could possibly be defined as “immodest clothing” to some people, who gives a shit. Let them wear it, it’s not affecting your life. And also don’t take the liberty of defining things that you have never experienced ( except drugs haha). We are in 2014 now, we need to be living in a society where we remember judging people never results in anything positive. We all just want to be happy. Let it happen.

Are you a Slut?

Imagine you’re a young women, college age, maybe a bit older. You’re at a party and talking to a boy, someone you’ve known for a while. He’s attractive and charming and you know he has a thing for you. Meanwhile, you’re single, and well…you know what you’re thinking. You’re weighing your options. The way you see it, you can either hook up with this kid, or not.

But is it really that simple? Most will answer no. Some will answer yes and I envy them. Social stigmas don’t matter to them and they will do what they want. I think we all need to get to this place where we do what we want without judgement of ourselves or others.

But at this party, talking to this attractive charming boy, you’re thinking, what will happen? If I have sex with him, will people think I’m a slut? Will my roommates exchange knowing looks and off-hand remarks when I tell them I’m not coming back tonight? People at this party that know a tiny bit about my life, will they start rumors?

A boy in this situation never deals with any of these worries. If they’re sexually active with different people, they’re approved of by their peers, not shamed. We all know that double standard is alive and well in today’s society.

BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE! We’re all working toward gender equality right? So why judge a girl for having multiple sexual partners and not a boy? We’re all equals! We shouldn’t be putting each other down for our own personal choices. Most of the time we have no idea what is happening in these people’s lives or how these people are feeling. Let them do what they want because frankly its none of our business. I realize this is very ’67 summer of love philosophy and I’m definitely not saying we all need to have sex with a bunch of people because I know that does not work for everyone. The main goal here is to make whatever decisions we see fit and not be judged for them.

So, when you see a girl at a party flirting with a guy, do me a favor, remind yourself that we all need to do things that make us happy. If this situation makes that girl happy, why put her down for that?